Do Sex Positions Depend on Penis Size?

Any size can work well in the bedroom if you know how to use it, but many men experience performance anxiety around their penis size. There are many psychological factors that play a role in issues like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and having a hold up about size can be one of these factors.   But according to past research studies, about 85 percent of women were satisfies with their partner’s penis size.  So strictly speaking, size really doesn't matter in satisfying your partner.  Men come and all shapes and sizes, and they should own that.  If that pep-talk isn’t enough, then maybe trying different sex positions that work for your size and shape will make you feel more comfortable about what you are packing below the belt.   

For the well-endowed:

Being larger than average can have problems of its own.  Many men think this is the target, but large size can be uncomfortable for your partner so precautions definitely need to be taken that a smaller guy needn’t worry about.  The vagina only measures 3-7 inches so larger men surely need to take this into account. One of the biggest factors is controlling depth and speed as to not hurt your partner.  One solution when figuring out the best position is allowing your partner to be in control. Positions like cowgirl or reverse cowgirl allow her to control both depth and speed, avoiding any painful situations.

For the smaller than average man:

If length isn’t your strong suit, that doesn’t mean sex can’t be fun and satisfying.  As mentioned, the vagina only measures 3-7 inches.  Positions which decrease the size of the vaginal canal are good for smaller men so you can really show off what you are working with.  These include rear entry positions, like doggy style, or missionary positions where the legs are held more tightly together.   These positions also allow for the deepest penetration, and for freedom to play with your hands and increase stimulation elsewhere.

For the average guy:

Just because you fall into the average category, doesn’t mean every position works or feels good.  The biggest advantage in being average is being able to try new positions and see what works best.  Depending on your partner’s vagina, and depending on the specifications of your penis (bendy, thick, thin) you may prefer one move over the next. Experiment with standing positions, different angles and variations of the classics.  Average can get boring so keep mixing it up.

Tough Talk you need to have with your partner

No one wants to get hit with the “we need to talk”.  Especially in a relationship, this usually spells trouble.  But even if the lead in isn’t so dramatic, lots of couples have a hard time expressing their feelings, opening up, or communicating vulnerabilities properly or at all.  It’s hard to get the words right when you are bringing up tough topics and many times it can seem like there is never a good time to open up and discuss something.  What kind of things are we talking about here? Well here are some tough topics that might be tough to tackle but necessary in a healthy partnership

1.     Sexual issues

2.     Mental Illness

3.     Unresolved Traumas

4.     Genetic Risk for Disease

5.     Addiction

6.     Infertility

All of the above topics affect you and your partner, as much as you might think that it only affects you.  If you are having sexual issues within your relationship, not talking about it means there is no way to make it better.  Even if it can be awkward, communicating the problem is the only way to try to resolve it.  As far as medical issues like infertility, genetic risk for disease, and mental illness go – these things affect you and your partner as a couple and your future.  Not talking about it is not helping but hurting your relationship as it does not provide the opportunity to problem solve or make a plan for the future.  Additionally, you need to allow that person the opportunity to help you and be support for the burdens you feel that you are carrying. Addiction can also work much the same way, in that a partner typically suspects there is some time underlying issue, but until you accept and open up to the assistance they are likely to offer you, they can do nothing except be a spectator in your life. 

Many people have had unresolved trauma in their lives, and dredging up the past can be extremely painful and not necessarily something they want to do.  Within a relationship however, these secrets can alter the way you treat your partner.  That is you may hold onto trust issues, or easily anger over something miniscule or become overly emotional at something your partner does not view as problematic.  Sharing these stories can help your partner understand you and your experience better and help them to be more considerate in the future with you.   Without communication about these hot button topics, growth becomes impossible, as does true happiness.  Just make sure you are clear with what you want to say, you pick the right time, you stay positive, and communicate from a place of reason and not emotion.

Fight the Post-Sex Blues

According to a new study published in the journal Sexual Medicine has reported that a whopping 46 percent of young women (of 200 surveyed) experience post-coital dysphoria, or the post-sex blues.  Post-coital dysphoria is the feeling of melancholy, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sex.  This post-sex sadness can last from five minutes up to two hours after sex, and for some brings on very strong feelings of depression and anxiety.

So why does this specific type of depression happen in almost half of young women?  When we have sex, we expect to be physically exhausted, relaxed and mentally at ease.  But for many, that’s clearly not the case.  Although there is little research as to why this happens, here is what scientist think might be going on.  Depression after consensual sexual activity can happen because something is missing or lacking from the relationship.  Sex is associated with love, caring, partnership among two people and physical desire.  If the right combination of all these things is not there then post-sex depression might ensue.  That means feeling depressed or regretful about the sexual experience you just had.  Some doctors have called it “buyer’s remorse” but for sex.  Having sex can also dredge up other unrelated issues within ones relationship and life.

One way to avoid these feelings is to choose the right partner who is understanding of your mental, physical and emotional needs. You should also be in tune with yourself and any body image of self-esteem issues you may have.  These are issues you may want to talk to a professional about before getting involved sexually with someone. Aside from this, what else can you do to fight this feeling of post-sex blues? If you are feeling depressed after sex but can figure out why, fight it with food!

Certain foods have been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety and boost you mood, so why not try them to see if they can reduce those unwanted post sex feelings.  Here are some of the top recommended foods to combat this feeling:

1.     Pumpkin seeds: Rich in the amino acid tryptophan which helps your brain produce serotonin (your feel good hormone)

2.     Apples: Rich in antioxidants and phytoestrogens, which have been found to increase sexual pleasure

3.     Green Tea: Catechins in green tea increase blood flow and boost the libido

4.     Red Wine: Boosts sex drive and promotes relaxation

5.     Red Meat: rich in iron that can help fight fatigue, making sex more fun

6.     Spinach: rich in magnesium, that decreased inflammation in blood vessels and increases blood flow throughout the body

7.     Dark Chocolate: increases mood-boosting serotonin hormone and lowers stress levels

8.     Red Bell Peppers: high in vitamin C and vitamin A, have been shown to increase sex drive and decrease depression

9.     Salmon: High in omega-3’s which fight inflammation and reduce risk of depression

10.  Black eyed Peas: rich in folate, which has been shown to reduce depression